幽默英語故事演講稿大全
【篇一】
A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate. Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have a crush on someone else in the class, when they‟re eight or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-oldkid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son, it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it cost?” And the father said, “I don‟t know, son. I‟m still paying.”
有個(gè)小孩愛上了另一個(gè)小孩,對(duì)方是學(xué)校的同學(xué)。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時(shí)會(huì)迷戀班上某個(gè)人,然后就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個(gè)八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸:「爸爸,結(jié)婚很花錢嗎?」爸爸說:「是啊,兒子,非;ㄥX!箖鹤佑謫枺骸敢ǘ嗌馘X呢?」爸爸說:「我不知道,兒子,我到現(xiàn)在還一直在付錢啊!」
【篇二】
Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old.
Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again.
After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket.
But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?”
“No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.”
湯姆是個(gè)小孩, 他才7歲。
當(dāng)他去電影院的時(shí)候。那時(shí)他第一次去。他買了張票進(jìn)去了。 但沒過兩三分鐘他就出來了,然后買了第二張票又進(jìn)去了。
幾分鐘后他又出來買了第三張票。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。
一個(gè)女的問她,“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個(gè)朋友?"
"沒有, 我里面沒朋友, 但是每當(dāng)我進(jìn)門的時(shí)候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了"
【篇三】
BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
買帽子
一位婦女到一家帽子店買帽子。她很挑剔,用了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才選好了一頂。已經(jīng)忍耐到極限的售貨員害怕她再改變主意,便恭維她:"你做了極好的選擇,夫人。你戴上這頂帽子看上去起碼年輕十歲!"但令他沮喪的是,這位女士馬上摘下了她的帽子說:"我不想要一頂摘下來便使我立刻顯得老十歲的`帽子。多拿一些帽子給我看看!
【篇四】
牧童和狼
A Shepherd-boy, who tended his flock not far from a village, used to amuse himself at times in crying out"wolf !wolf!"Twice or thrice his trick succeeded .The whole village came running out to his assistance when all the return they got was to be laughed at for their pains .At last one day the wolf came indeed .The boy cried out in earnest. But his neighbors, supposing him to be at his old sport, paid no heed to his cries, and the wolf devoured the sheep. So the boy learned, when it was too late, that liars are not believed even when they tell the truth.
一個(gè)放羊的孩子在離村子不遠(yuǎn)的地方放羊。他為了開心尋樂常喊:"狼來了!狼來了!"他的惡作劇有兩三次達(dá)到了目的。全村的人都跑來幫忙,而他們所得到的回報(bào)卻是一頓嘲笑,白費(fèi)了心力。最后,有一天狼真的來了。這個(gè)孩子認(rèn)真地大喊起來。但是他的鄰人們卻以為他又在耍把戲,誰都不理會(huì)他的喊叫,于是狼把羊吃了。因此這牧童得到了教訓(xùn):愛說謊的人,甚至在他說真話的時(shí)候,也沒人相信他,但是他知道得太晚了。
【篇五】
老板最大
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000.
The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That‟s so expensive for this kindof parrot.”
The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.”
So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That‟s why he‟s so expensive.”
Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?”
The owner of the shopsaid, “I don‟t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him „The Boss.‟”
有個(gè)人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店里有三只鸚鵡,其中一只賣五千元,另一只賣一萬元,還有一只賣三萬元。
顧客問老板:「為什么這只要賣五千元?這個(gè)價(jià)錢對(duì)這種鸚鵡來說太貴了!」
老板說:「因?yàn)槲矣杏?xùn)練他講話!
顧客又問:「那這只呢?他會(huì)做什么?為什么要賣這么貴?」
老板說:「他除了會(huì)說話之外,還會(huì)表演一些有趣的動(dòng)作,好比說跳舞等等,所以才賣這么貴!
顧客接著又問:「那第三只呢?他會(huì)做什么?為什么要賣這么貴?」
老板說:「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌,也沒看過他跳舞,什么都沒有!不過另外兩只叫他:『老板!』
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