英語笑話大全笑翻天
生活需要笑話，笑話能愉悅我們的心情，今天我們就一起來看看英語笑話大全笑翻天吧!
英語笑話大全笑翻天(一)
When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”
我五歲的.兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴(yán)厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”
英語笑話大全笑翻天(二)
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
曾經(jīng)有只蝸牛，它對自己動(dòng)作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。
Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.
他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。
After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.
逛了一圈之后，它決定買Datson 240-Z。
So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".
去了最近的Datsun經(jīng)銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。
The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"
經(jīng)銷商問：“為什么是S呢?”
The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.
蝸�；卮鹫f：“‘s’代表蝸牛。
I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."
我想讓每一個(gè)看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。”
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail,
經(jīng)銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，
so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
所以他同意收取些許費(fèi)用，把車重新涂漆。
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
蝸牛開著它的新車，把自己的余生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
而不論何時(shí)任何人看見它飛馳而過的時(shí)候，都會(huì)說：“哦!看那S-car 。”
英語笑話大全笑翻天(三)
the squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. the party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied：
班里正在進(jìn)行“視力訓(xùn)練”。一個(gè)聰明伶俐的新兵被班長叫出來數(shù)遠(yuǎn)處曠野上采掘隊(duì)的人數(shù)。采掘隊(duì)在很遠(yuǎn)的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點(diǎn)兒。但是這個(gè)新兵毫不猶豫地回答。
"sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."
“十六個(gè)兵外加一個(gè)中士，長官。”
"right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"
“正確，可是你怎么知道那兒有一個(gè)中士?”
"he's not doing any digging, sir."
“他不干活，長官。”
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