超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯
總是有些時(shí)候莫名其妙的不開心，心情不佳的時(shí)候就會(huì)辦什么都不在狀態(tài)，你會(huì)這樣么?這里小編收集整理了超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯，讓你的心情速速好起來。
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇1
In the veterinary office where I’m a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes , in fact that’s why we' re here，”she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminder.
我是一家獸醫(yī)站的技師。當(dāng)動(dòng)物到了該注射疫苗的時(shí)候，我們就寄出提醒信。一條德國(guó)牧羊犬布魯諾來做每年一次的狂犬疫苗注射。依照州立法律的要求，我們問他的主人，在過去的十天里布魯諾是否咬了什么人�！班�，是的，實(shí)際上這也是我們到這里來的原因�！彼卮鹫f。我覺得奇怪，告訴她我們以為他們是因?yàn)槭盏搅颂嵝研挪艁淼摹?/p>
"We did,” she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card.”
“的確如此，”她解釋說�！安剪斨Z咬了你們送提醒信的郵遞員。”
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇2
ohn is not a "good" student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.
約翰并不是個(gè)“好”學(xué)生。他總是在上課的時(shí)候睡覺。今天他又睡著了。
“John!” Teacher says angrily.
“約翰!”老師生氣地喊他。
“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.
“什么?出什么事了?”約翰醒了。
“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.
“你為什么要做鬼臉?這是教室!看看!同學(xué)們都在笑!”老師生氣地說。
“No one is laughing.” Other students whisper.
“沒有人在笑呀�！逼渌瑢W(xué)小聲地嘀咕。
“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.
“不，不是我。我沒有做鬼臉。剛才我睡著了。”約翰感到不安。
“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfiedwith it.
“嗯，還不錯(cuò)。你承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤，還是個(gè)好孩子�！崩蠋煘榇烁械綕M意。
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇3
"This house,”said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad point. To show you I' m honest, I'm going to tell yon about the disadvantages一there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north.”
“這幢房子，”房地產(chǎn)推銷商說，“既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)也有缺點(diǎn)。為了說明我是誠(chéng)實(shí)的，我將告訴你們它的缺點(diǎn)是—在南面隔一個(gè)街區(qū)的地方有一家化工廠，在北面隔一個(gè)街區(qū)的地方有一家屠宰場(chǎng)。”
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
“那么長(zhǎng)處呢?”欲購(gòu)房的人問道。
"The good thing about it,” said the a-gent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”
“它的好處，”代理人說道，“就是，你總能分辨風(fēng)是從哪邊吹過來的�！�
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇4
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”
醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了�！�
聽到醫(yī)生的.話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著�！�
妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多�！�
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇5
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges， and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印機(jī)部做技術(shù)支持工作已經(jīng)有一個(gè)月了，有一天我接到一位客戶的電話，她的問題我沒辦法解決。她的問題是：打印機(jī)不能打出來黃色，但是其它顏色都正常。這讓我覺得很納悶，因?yàn)槿褪撬{(lán)、紅、黃。我建議客戶更換墨盒、刪了驅(qū)動(dòng)程序然后重新安裝，但是都沒有效果。我咨詢同事們，他們也不知道該怎么辦。經(jīng)過兩個(gè)多小時(shí)的交涉，我打算讓客戶把打印機(jī)寄給我們，這時(shí)候她平靜地說了一句：“我是不是應(yīng)該把這張黃紙扔了換一張白紙?jiān)俅蛴≡囋��！?/p>
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇6
One Point
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year －"62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
一分之差
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的懷茲中學(xué)，其門廳里懸掛著過去四十年間樣籃球隊(duì)的照片。每幅照片前排中間的隊(duì)員舉著一個(gè)籃球，上面標(biāo)明年份－“62-63”，“63-64”，“64-65”等等。
一天，我看到一個(gè)新生很困惑地看著照片。他朝我轉(zhuǎn)過身來，說道：“多奇怪呀，這些隊(duì)都是以一分之差輸?shù)舻模?quot;
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇7
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman: "How much this stuff?"
一位耳聾并且總是嫌?xùn)|西太貴的老太太走進(jìn)一家商店。 她問店員：“這東西要多少錢？”
"Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap." The lady said, "It is too much, give it to me for fourteen." "I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven."
“七美元，太太，這是很便宜的。” 老太太說：“太貴了，十四美元差不多�！� 店員忙說：“我沒說十七美元，是七美元�！�
"It is still too much," replied the old lady, "give it to me for five."
“還是太貴，”老太太說：“五美元，我就買啦�！�
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇8
昂貴的代價(jià)
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
牙科醫(yī)生：對(duì)不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?
牙科醫(yī)生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了
我沒有睡著
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”
“我沒有睡著�！蹦莻�(gè)男人回答。
“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已�！�
可憐的丈夫
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的�！�
誰更有禮貌?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭(zhēng)論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對(duì)女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o論什么時(shí)候他在車上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。
律師、寶馬和胳膊
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
一個(gè)律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。
“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了�！�
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”
狗住旅店
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
一個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”
旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營(yíng)旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來。
超級(jí)搞笑英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯 篇9
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么？”
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
一個(gè)女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
Tips: bank在英語(yǔ)中除了我們平時(shí)很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
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