英語笑話爆笑

時(shí)間：2024-10-14 13:12:12 賽賽英語笑話我要投稿

關(guān)于英語笑話爆笑（精選10個(gè)）

　　會(huì)講笑話的人都是有幽默感的人，有幽默感的人患上抑郁癥的可能性就大為減少，接下來一起來看看關(guān)于英語笑話爆笑，看看你的幽默指數(shù)吧!

關(guān)于英語笑話爆笑（精選10個(gè)）

　　英語笑話爆笑 1

　　1、How much English can you speak?

　　"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. Whats more, he only speaks a few words of English."

　　The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"

　　The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"

　　"法官先生，我的當(dāng)事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認(rèn)路。

　　而且，他只會(huì)說幾個(gè)英語單詞。"

　　法官看了看被告，問道："你會(huì)說多少英文?"

　　被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我!"

　　2、老師哭了

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺愛，寵愛) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?"

　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did!"

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。

　　他第一天上學(xué)才離開祖母的懷抱。約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門口接他并問道：“學(xué)校怎么樣?你過的.好嗎?哭了沒有?”

　　“哭?”約翰問，“不，我沒哭，可老師哭了�！�

　　3、Hes just Been to the Zoo

　　When I was waitting in line at the bank , I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll ,which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.

　　"No, no, dear," said the boys mom. and then , turnning to the teller , "I beg your pardon , young man. Please forgive my son . Hes just been to the zoo."

　　他剛?cè)ミ^動(dòng)物園

　　當(dāng)我在銀行里排隊(duì)時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)一位婦女抱著一個(gè)小孩站在一個(gè)窗口。男孩正在吃一個(gè)面包卷，并將面包卷戳向出納員，出納員笑著搖了搖頭。

　　“別這樣，親愛的，” 男孩的媽媽說。然后她轉(zhuǎn)向出納員說，“對不起，小伙子。請?jiān)徫业膬鹤�，他剛�(cè)ミ^動(dòng)物園。”

　　英語笑話爆笑 2

　　1.I Wasnt Asleep

　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　"I wasnt asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我沒有睡著

　　當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！”

　　“我沒有睡著�！蹦莻€(gè)男人回答。

　　“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？”

　　“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已�！�

　　2.The poor husband

　　"You cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　可憐的丈夫

　　“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的�！盬here is the father?

　　3.Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　父親在哪兒？

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的'油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

　　哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　4.Does the dog know the proverb, too?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"Its all right," said a gentleman, "dont be afraid. Dont you know the proverb: Barking dogs dont bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　狗也知道這個(gè)諺語嗎？

　　一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人�！�

　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”

　　5.一 Can we have our teacher back？

　　Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

　　能讓我們的老師回去嗎？

　　有一次，一位督學(xué)去視察一個(gè)只有三間教室的學(xué)校。一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學(xué)抓住其中一個(gè)正在站著說話的人，把他帶進(jìn)另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個(gè)小男孩從第一間教室走進(jìn)來，問道，“您什么時(shí)候能讓我們的老師回去呢？”

　　6. Whos More Polite?

　　A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

　　誰更有禮貌？

　　一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o論什么時(shí)候他在車上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。

　　7. Expensive Price

　　Dentist: Im sorry, madam, but Ill have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your sons tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　昂貴的代價(jià)

　　牙科醫(yī)生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？

　　牙科醫(yī)生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了

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