小學爆笑英語笑話

時間：2020-10-22 17:05:24 英語笑話我要投稿

小學爆笑英語笑話大全

　　要是有一則笑話解決不了的事，那就兩則笑話，看笑話，能讓我們變得開心，今天小編為大家準備了小學爆笑英語笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!

小學爆笑英語笑話大全

　　小學爆笑英語笑話一：Photo 我老婆的照片

　　A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."

　　一個生意人走進一家酒館，在吧臺坐下，點了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿上。這時酒館的服務(wù)生說話了，“呃，老兄，我整個晚上給你倒martini都沒有問題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開始變得好看起來，那就說明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”

　　小學爆笑英語笑話二：瞌睡者

　　The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會，圣會) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來�？吹侥翈煾哒驹诮虊�，正生氣的.看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”