英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單
愛(ài)笑的人，運(yùn)氣總不會(huì)太差，因?yàn)樾梢宰屓顺錆M(mǎn)正能量，更能讓自己面對(duì)挫折，勇往直前，以下笑話希望能讓你爆笑每一天。
英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單一：Only cash and credit cards
When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for
a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and
number of people.
" Do you take children?" the man asked.
"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."
只算現(xiàn)金和信用卡
一個(gè)人打電話給一家汽車(chē)旅館詢(xún)問(wèn)房租，旅館的工作人員回答說(shuō) 房租的多少取決于房間的大小和住客的人數(shù)。
“小孩兒算不算呢?”那人問(wèn)道。
“不算，先生。”服務(wù)員回答，“我們只算現(xiàn)金和信用卡。”
英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單二：出色的回答
Stunning Reply
My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?"
He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"
出色的回答
我在準(zhǔn)備晚飯的時(shí)候，我叫年僅五歲的兒子把玩具都收拾起來(lái)。當(dāng)我問(wèn)他為什么沒(méi)做他的差事時(shí)，他說(shuō)他不想做。我感到有些惱火，就對(duì)他說(shuō)：“要是我說(shuō)我不想做晚飯，這時(shí)你會(huì)在哪里呢?”
他略加思索便回答說(shuō)：“在飯店里?”
英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單三：Don't Argue with Children
不要和小孩爭(zhēng)論
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個(gè)小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚(yú)的事情。
她的老師說(shuō)：“一頭鯨魚(yú)從身體構(gòu)造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)楸M管鯨魚(yú)是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物，可它的嗓子非常小。”
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚(yú)吞掉的。
她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說(shuō)：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，鯨魚(yú)是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。”
那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)：“那等我到了天堂，就去問(wèn)問(wèn)約拿。”
她的老師問(wèn)：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”
那個(gè)小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的'話，你就去問(wèn)他。”
英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單四：My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫馬上就要回來(lái)了
一個(gè)已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說(shuō)，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會(huì)殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說(shuō)道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”
在女朋友再三請(qǐng)求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說(shuō)道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來(lái)了。”
英語(yǔ)笑話大全簡(jiǎn)單五：Ten Candies
十塊糖
Mother asks her son, "Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candies do you have?"
"Ten." Jim says.
"Then," Mother asks.
"Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn't it right?"
媽媽問(wèn)兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖?”
“10塊。”吉姆說(shuō)。
“10塊?”媽媽問(wèn)。
“是的，媽媽。因?yàn)?塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對(duì)嗎?”
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