導(dǎo)語：你知道學(xué)些笑話的好處么?當(dāng)?shù)谝淮我娒娴臅r候，總是有不知道該說什么的尷尬，這時候你就需要一些笑話，來緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了令人噴飯的英語笑話有翻譯，希望能對你有所幫助哈!

　　1 TOM'S EXCUSE

　　Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go

　　Slow".

　　湯姆的借口

　　老師：湯姆,您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到?

　　湯姆：我每次路過拐角,一個路標(biāo)上面寫著："學(xué)校----慢行."

　　2 One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。

　　所有的學(xué)生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。

　　“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。

　　3 When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"xiao84.com

　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我沒有睡著

　　當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒!”

　　“我沒有睡著。”那個男人回答。

　　“沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?”

　　“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

　　4 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor." 巴士英語www.xiao84.com

　　杰克騎車摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士拿著表格讓填。仞杰克填好遞上表格"還有什么漏填的?"護(hù)士問. "有!"杰克想了想說，"我是個單身漢."

　　5 A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings. “Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull thered string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German。” replies the shop keeper.巴士英語www.xiao84.com

　　“And whathappens if I pull both the strings?”our curious shopper inquires. “I fall off my perch you fool!!” screeches the parrot.

　　有個人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那里，他看見有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對此他感到不解，于是他問該店的老板，老板回答說：“這只鸚鵡受過特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語，拉綠線，它則講德語。”

　　這個好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會怎么樣呢?”

　　“我就會掉下來了，你這個傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說。

　　6 No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice.

　　“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her.

　　So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl.He told his friendly adviser：

　　“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother.And just as you said，mother liked her”

　　“So，”asked the friend，“what happened?”

　　“Nothing，”said the young man.“My father hates her!”

　　無論帶哪一個女孩回家，這位青年人總會遭到母親的反對。一位朋友勸他說：

　　“找一個和你母親一樣的女孩——那她一定會喜歡她。”

　　于是這位青年人不停地找啊找，終于找到了這么個女孩。

　　他對他友好的忠告者說：

　　“正像你說的那樣，我找到一個長相、談吐、穿著打扮，甚至連烹飪都和我母親一樣的女孩。也正像你說的那樣，我母親喜歡她。”

　　“那后來呢?”朋友問。

　　“沒什么，”青年人說。“我父親討厭她!”

　　7 Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”

　　Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”

　　Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”

　　Father：“A convert，my son.”

　　有希望的青年人：“父親，什么叫政治叛徒?”

　　父親(一位老資格的.政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個黨的人。”

　　有希望的青年人：“那么，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什么呢?”

　　父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”

　　8 It was Tom’s birthday,and he was five years old.He got quite a lot of nice birthday presents from his family,and one of them was a beartiful big drum.

　　“Who gave him thay thing?”answered Tom’s mother.

　　“Oh,”said his father.

　　Of course,Tom liked his drum very much.He made terrible noise with is,but his mother did not mind.His father was working during the day,and Tom was in bed when he got home in the evening,so he did not hear the noise.

　　But one of the neighbours did not like noise at all.So one morning a few days later she took a sharp knife and went to Tom’s house while he was hitting his drum.She said to him,”Hello,Tom,do you know,there’s something very nice inside your drum.Here is a knitf.Open the frum and let’s find it.”

　　那天是湯姆五歲的生日，他從家人那里得到了很多不錯的禮物，其中有一件禮物是一只漂亮的大鼓。

　　“這是誰給他的呢?”湯姆媽媽問道。

　　“哦。”爸爸說。

　　當(dāng)然，湯姆非常喜歡這個大鼓。雖然他敲鼓的聲音很難聽，但媽媽卻從不在意。湯姆爸爸因為白天工作，而且當(dāng)爸爸回家時湯姆已經(jīng)睡覺了，所以爸爸并沒有聽見過這些噪音。

　　但是，他們的一位鄰居非常不高興。幾天后的一個早上，當(dāng)她又一次聽到湯姆的噪音時，她帶著鋒利的小刀來到湯姆家：”嘿，湯姆，你知道嗎你的鼓里有好東西，打開它，我們一起找找那好東西吧