英語(yǔ)笑話故事大全笑破你的肚子帶翻譯

　　一個(gè)英國(guó)人從他住的旅店房間里走出來(lái)。來(lái)到走廊上，叫旅店的服務(wù)員給他拿一杯水來(lái)。服務(wù)員按他的要求做了。只不過(guò)是我的房間里起火了。更多英語(yǔ)笑話盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生笑話網(wǎng)。

　　小偷對(duì)自己做的.最壞打算--雙語(yǔ)幽默笑話

　　A shoplifter(商店扒手) was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

　　一個(gè)小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時(shí)候被當(dāng)場(chǎng)擒獲。“聽(tīng)著，”小偷說(shuō)，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買(mǎi)下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒(méi)發(fā)生，你看怎樣?”

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook(騙子，壞蛋) looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."

　　經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說(shuō)道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)，你們還有沒(méi)有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"

　　杯水救火災(zāi)--雙語(yǔ)幽默笑話

　　Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor(走廊) of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. Nothing, the Englishman answered imperturbably(平靜地) , It’s simply that my room is on fire.

　　一天晚上，一個(gè)英國(guó)人從他住的旅店房間里走出來(lái)。來(lái)到走廊上，叫旅店的服務(wù)員給他拿一杯水來(lái)。服務(wù)員按他的要求做了。英國(guó)人回到了他的房間里，幾分鐘后他又來(lái)到走廊上，讓服務(wù)員再給他送一杯水。服務(wù)員又給他送了一杯水。每隔幾分鐘。英國(guó)人就走出房間重復(fù)他的要求。 半小時(shí)之后.這位感到驚訝的服務(wù)員決定問(wèn)問(wèn)房客要這些水干什么，英國(guó)人不謊不忙地回答：沒(méi)什么.只不過(guò)是我的房間里起火了。

　　為報(bào)紙上的競(jìng)賽競(jìng)選最佳答案--雙語(yǔ)幽默笑話

　　An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation(集會(huì)) for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

　　衣阿華州奧格根的一位牧師正在與一位教友為一杯咖啡而猜硬幣。別人問(wèn)他那是否構(gòu)成賭博行為時(shí)，牧師答道：“這僅僅是決定由誰(shuí)來(lái)做一件善事的一種科學(xué)方法。”

　　Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

　　當(dāng)我人問(wèn)哲學(xué)家羅素是否愿意為了他的信仰而獻(xiàn)身時(shí)，他答道：“當(dāng)然不會(huì)。畢竟，我可能會(huì)是錯(cuò)的。”

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問(wèn)題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫(huà)，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門(mén)口的那一幅。”

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