最好笑的英語笑話

時(shí)間：2024-06-14 07:15:53 英語笑話我要投稿

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最好笑的英語笑話大全

　　冰箱里的小兔子最終會(huì)有什么樣的結(jié)果呢?想知道就趕緊往下邊看哦。

最好笑的英語笑話大全

　　How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂

　　"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

　　"No!" the children all answered.

　　"If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

　　Again, the answer was, "No!"

　　"Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"

　　A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

　　“如果我把房子和車賣了，在車庫舉行義賣, 并把所有的錢給窮人，我能進(jìn)天堂嗎?”我問主日學(xué)校的孩子。

　　孩子們齊聲回答：“不能!”

　　“那如果我每天都打掃教堂，給院子的草坪割草，并且把東西都收拾得干凈整潔，我會(huì)上天堂嗎?”

　　回答還是：“不能!”“好吧， ”我繼續(xù)問, “那我要怎樣才能升天堂呢?”

　　一個(gè)五歲的男孩兒叫道：“你得死了才行!”

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."

　　"But you're not wearing any of those things."

　　"I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我?guī)е@石耳環(huán)、鉆石項(xiàng)鏈、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　“但你現(xiàn)在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會(huì)立刻再婚。我要讓那個(gè)女人為尋找這些珠寶而發(fā)瘋。”

　　是哪兩個(gè)詞?

　　What Are The Two Words?A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that? “Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl.“What are the two words?”

　　一個(gè)非常高貴的老夫人有幾句話要對她的孫女說。“我親愛的，”老夫人說：“我希望你能幫我一個(gè)忙。我要你答應(yīng)永遠(yuǎn)不要用兩個(gè)詞。一個(gè)是‘討厭的’，另一個(gè)是‘極好的’。你能答應(yīng)我嗎?” “噢，當(dāng)然，奶奶。”女孩說：“是哪兩個(gè)詞?”

　　冰箱里的小兔子

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打開冰箱門，發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上，就問它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse，西屋電氣公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士確認(rèn)道：“沒錯(cuò)。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子說：“那就對了，我就是要往西邊去。”

　　Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

　　兔子：你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病?

　　Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.