爆笑經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話簡(jiǎn)短

　　英語(yǔ)笑話帶來的笑能刺激呼吸系統(tǒng)和血液循環(huán),緩解關(guān)節(jié)疼痛,預(yù)防感冒至癌癥等許多病癥的發(fā)生。下面由YJBYS小編為您送上的英語(yǔ)笑話。

　　奇怪的關(guān)系

　　Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

　　四個(gè)好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的.妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過來對(duì)第一個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊(duì)的經(jīng)理."過了一會(huì)兒,護(hù)士過來對(duì)第二個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來對(duì)第三個(gè)男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對(duì)雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻�(gè)都很高興,但第四個(gè)伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對(duì)勁,他回答道:"什么不對(duì)勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

　　一分鐘一百萬

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

　　一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對(duì)你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請(qǐng)求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."

　　神父，他有AIDS

　　One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.有個(gè)女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪...Girl: Father, I have sinned.女孩：神父，我有罪。Preacher: What did you do, little girl?神父：孩子，你犯了什么罪呢?Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."女孩：昨天，我罵了某個(gè)男人一句：“你這個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的。”Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?神父：為什么?他對(duì)你做了什么嗎?Girl: He touched my breast.女孩：他...他摸我的胸部。Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父伸手摸女孩的胸部)Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.女孩：(因?yàn)樯窀傅呐e動(dòng)而有一些害羞)嗯...是的。Preacher: That s no reason to call him that.神父：只是這樣子的話你沒有理由罵他。Girl: But he also took off my cloth.女孩：但是...他又把我的衣服脫掉。Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)神父：你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父動(dòng)手脫掉女孩的衣服)Girl: Yes, that s what he did.女孩：是的，是這樣子沒錯(cuò)。Preacher: That s still no reason to call him that.神父：可是這樣子你還是沒有理由罵他。Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...女孩：然後...他把他的...那個(gè)...放到我的...那個(gè)...里面...Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)神父：(奸笑貌)你是說像這樣子嗎?(神父和女孩就那個(gè)那個(gè)了)

　　Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that s what he did...女孩：(數(shù)分鐘後)喔...是的...就是這樣子...Preacher: My dear girl, that s still no reason to call him a...神父：我親愛的孩子，就算是這樣你還是沒有理由罵他「你這個(gè)...」Girl: But he had AIDS!!女孩：但是他有AIDS呀!Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!神父：那個(gè)狗娘養(yǎng)的!!!

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