英語笑話爆笑短文

時(shí)間：2020-11-13 13:50:11 英語笑話我要投稿

英語笑話爆笑短文

　　我國古代人對笑之好的認(rèn)識(shí)和對健康的追求：“百年須笑三萬六千場”。下面由YJBYS小編為您帶來的英語笑話大整合。

英語笑話爆笑短文

　　I am acting like a lady 我要表現(xiàn)得像一位女士

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價(jià)，一位高貴的`中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發(fā)現(xiàn)自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐著。后來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你干嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得像一位紳士嗎?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“聽著，”他說。“我已經(jīng)像紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個(gè)小時(shí)了。從現(xiàn)在起，我要表現(xiàn)得像一位女士。”

　　Good Sight 好視力

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　律師：你說你離事故現(xiàn)場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠(yuǎn)的東西?

　　證人：這么說吧，早上起床后我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英里遠(yuǎn)。

　　來信

　　Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　″I have known many an instance(實(shí)例) of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　一個(gè)星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那里有他的幾封信。他打開其中一封,發(fā)現(xiàn)信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個(gè)字。

　　他平靜而認(rèn)真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時(shí)忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”

　　Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew.

　　Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?

　　顧客：服務(wù)員，我這個(gè)牡蠣燉菜里怎么沒有牡蠣?

　　服務(wù)員：是啊，你不會(huì)指望在天使蛋糕里發(fā)現(xiàn)天使吧?

　　玫瑰

　　On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

　　Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

　　Yes, I said.

　　For her birthday? she asked.

　　No, I replied.

　　For your anniversary?

　　No, I said again.

　　As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

　　一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進(jìn)店里，一個(gè)年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個(gè)招呼。

　　先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?她問道。

　　是的，我說。

　　她的生日?她問。

　　不是，我回答。