經(jīng)典簡短爆笑英語笑話
對每個人來說,凡是身體好者,一般都是笑口常開,面帶喜色。下面由YJBYS小編給你送上的英語笑話，感謝您的閱讀。
太黑了，看不見
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時母親忽然想起點兒事來，便對正在看電視的兒子說道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開著呢?” 過了一會兒，兒子回來說：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見。”
I Am Going to Shop 我要去購物啦
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
我?guī)蛠碣徫锏呐堪脰|西后，問道：“是付現(xiàn)金、支票還是記賬呢?” 當她找錢包的時候，我注意到她的包包里竟放著一個電視遙控器。
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
我問：“你一直都隨身帶電視遙控器的嗎?”
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”
她回答說：“不是啦。但我老公不樂意跟我一起來購物，所以我決定拿走他的遙控器來懲罰他。”
At a Department Store 在百貨商店里
A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”
一個結(jié)巴壯漢走進一家百貨公司問柜員：“男……男裝部在……在哪兒?”
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
柜臺后的柜員看著他不搭話。
The man repeats himself, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.
那男人又重復(fù)道：“男裝……裝部在……在哪兒?”柜員還是不理他。
The guy asks several more times, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
壯漢問了好幾遍柜員依舊如故。最后，壯漢氣沖沖地走了。
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s questions?”
排在后面的.顧客問那個柜員：“你怎么不答人家話呀?”
The clerk answers, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!”
柜員說：“你……你覺著我……我想找打……打是吧!?”
冰箱里的儲蓄罐
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿里“借錢”，她哥哥對此事感到很憤怒。
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
一天，表妹四處尋找，最后竟然在冰箱里發(fā)現(xiàn)了撲滿。
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
撲滿里有張紙條：“親愛的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產(chǎn)現(xiàn)在已被凍結(jié)。”
I Understand Him我懂他的話
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.
"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.
"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly . A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"
"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.
在飯店吃飯的時候，我申斥我4歲的兒子，因為他滿嘴食物在說話。“喔、呢”，我聽到的就是這些。 “祖，”我責備道，“沒人明白你在說什么。” “他說他要一些番茄醬，”我丈夫平靜地說。坐在旁邊的一位婦女靠過來問道：“你究竟如何明白他的話的呢?” “我是牙醫(yī)。”我丈夫解釋道。
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