爆笑英文短篇笑話
《I Don't Like an Argument》 我不想爭(zhēng)論
”Gerald,“asked the teacher,”what is the shape of the earth?“
”It's round,“answered Gerald.
”How do you know it's round?“continued the teacher.
”All right,it's square then,he replied,I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!
”杰拉爾德，“老師問：”地球是什么形狀?“
”是圓形的，“杰拉爾德回答道。
”你怎么知道是圓的?“老師又問。
”好吧，那它是方的，“學(xué)生回答說(shuō)：”我可不想與你爭(zhēng)論這件事情。“
生難詞：square adj.平方的，方形的
2
《Two Birds》 兩只鳥
Teacher: ”Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?“
Student: ”I cannot point out but I know the answer.“
Teacher: ”Please tell us.“
Student: ”The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.“
老師：”這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?“
學(xué)生：”我指不出，但我知道答案。“
老師：”請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。“
學(xué)生：”燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。“
生難詞：swallow n.燕子 sparrow n.麻雀
3
《Three Turtles》 三只烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one,"Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied,"I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't,"the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well, I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do, I won't go."
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來(lái)。于是最大的那只烏龜對(duì)最小的'烏龜說(shuō)，“回家去取傘吧。”
最小的烏龜說(shuō)，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應(yīng)說(shuō)。
兩年后，大烏龜對(duì)中烏龜說(shuō)，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來(lái)了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在這時(shí)，一個(gè)聲音從門外傳來(lái)，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”
生難詞：turtle n.烏龜 biggest adj.最大的
smallest adj.最小的 umbrella n.雨傘
4
英語(yǔ)笑話：三人同舟
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
三位男子在公園的長(zhǎng)椅土坐著。中間的一個(gè)在讀報(bào)紙，另外兩個(gè)在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，并卷線把魚抓上來(lái)。
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個(gè)景象，他問中間的那個(gè)男子是否認(rèn)識(shí)其他兩位。
"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends”
“喔，認(rèn)識(shí)，”他說(shuō)，“他們是我的朋友”
"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
“那樣的話，”警察告誡說(shuō)，“你最好把他們從這里弄走。”
"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
“好的，瞥官。”那男子回答說(shuō)，接著就開始瘋狂地做起劃槳的動(dòng)作來(lái)。
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