經(jīng)典幽默英語(yǔ)笑話大全
我們分享一切
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
一對(duì)老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯?xiàng)l分成兩份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
一個(gè)卡車司機(jī)非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨(dú)點(diǎn)一份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
“沒關(guān)系的。”老先生說，“我們分享一切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
幾分鐘后，卡車司機(jī)注意到老太太還沒動(dòng)口吃一點(diǎn)東西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
他再次對(duì)老先生說，“我真的不介意請(qǐng)您妻子吃一頓……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
“她會(huì)吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享一切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
司機(jī)不太相信，懇求老太太，“你為什么不吃一點(diǎn)?”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的.假牙。”
I Am Going to Shop 我要去購(gòu)物啦
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
我?guī)蛠碣?gòu)物的女士包好東西后，問道：“是付現(xiàn)金、支票還是記賬呢?” 當(dāng)她找錢包的時(shí)候，我注意到她的包包里竟放著一個(gè)電視遙控器。
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
我問：“你一直都隨身帶電視遙控器的嗎?”
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”
她回答說：“不是啦。但我老公不樂意跟我一起來購(gòu)物，所以我決定拿走他的遙控器來懲罰他。”
我為什么逃避手術(shù)
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
一位男士在進(jìn)行手術(shù)前被發(fā)現(xiàn)正沿著醫(yī)院的大廳逃離。
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
“發(fā)生了什么?”有人問他。
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
男士回答道：“我聽見護(hù)士說，‘這只是一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的手術(shù)。不用擔(dān)心，我相信不會(huì)出問題的。’”
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
“她這樣做是想讓你感到安心啊，有什么好害怕的?”
"She was talking to the damn doctor!"
“可她是在對(duì)那該死的手術(shù)醫(yī)生說!”
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