最好看的短篇英語笑話
A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比爾是一個好學(xué)生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學(xué)數(shù)學(xué)，課本上所有的數(shù)學(xué)問題他都能不費(fèi)勁地解答。
有一天，在上學(xué)路上，比爾經(jīng)過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個。”比爾腦筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進(jìn)了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣?” “五美分六個。” “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個?” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數(shù)學(xué)問題。” “數(shù)學(xué)問題?你說這話是什么意思?”
“你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那么五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了。”
比爾揀了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。
Two roaches 兩只蟑螂
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
兩只蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃著，其中的一只談起了它在一家新開張的餐館里的經(jīng)歷。“那時(shí)我在街對面的那家新餐館里，”它說。“那里太干凈了!廚房沒有一點(diǎn)污漬，地面閃著白光。任何地方都沒有垃圾。那里是如此干凈，整個地方都在發(fā)光。”“請不要在我吃東西的時(shí)候說這個好嗎?”另一只蟑螂不悅地說。
相親 Blind Date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的'約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
預(yù)報(bào)天氣的印第安人
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house， only a few huts made of wood， or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes，”he said.“Rain is coming， and wind.Then there will be snow for two days， but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me，”he said，“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied，“I heard it on the radio.”
有兩個人在美洲一個非�；臎銎У牡貐^(qū)旅行。好多天來，他們連所房子也沒看到，只看見幾個木棚子和皮帳篷。一天，他們遇到一個靠獵取獸皮謀生的印第安老人。他們發(fā)現(xiàn)他懂得他們的語言，就和他聊了一會兒。其中一個人問他，能否告知近幾天的天氣如何。 “哦，行啊”，他說。“就要下雨了，還要刮風(fēng)。接著還得下兩天雪。這以后，就是大晴天了。” “這不是太神奇了嗎?”一個旅行者對他的朋友說。“這些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密，比我們有科學(xué)知識的人知道的還多。他們并沒有被現(xiàn)代文明所迷惑。”接著他轉(zhuǎn)向印第安老人： “請問，”他說，“你是怎么知道這一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道：“我是從無線電里聽來的。”
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