圣誕節(jié)英語小笑話匯集

　　christmas eve service 平安夜禮拜

　　just as i began my christmas eve service, the electricity in the church failed. the ushers and i found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. then i reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "now, where was i?" a tired voice called out, "right near the end!"

　　就在我開始平安夜禱告時，教堂停電了。教堂里的'接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周圍。然后我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記后，我說：“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”

　　saying a prayer for his christmas meal圣誕節(jié)晚宴上的餐前禱告

　　lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.

　　有個小男孩叫l(wèi)ee, 今年七歲，圣誕節(jié)晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著期待的申請低頭看著他，lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然后，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得圣誕節(jié)晚餐了。

　　he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"

　　他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，圣誕布丁和紅莓醬。然后lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。lee沉默了很長時間，然后抬起頭看著他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍(lán)菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”

　　p.s:

　　國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍(lán)菜，不知道為什么，看《絕望主婦》里面lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍(lán)菜，請了保姆后還拿這個來做實(shí)驗(yàn)，看看她們家保姆有沒有魅力讓兩個小鬼頭把甘藍(lán)菜吃下去。

　　limited knowledge 圣誕老人知識有限

　　as we were putting out cookies for santa on christmas eve, i accidentally dropped one. "no problem," i said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. "you can’t do that," argued my four-year-old. "don’t worry. santa will never know." he shot me a look. "so he knows if i’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know the cookie fell on the floor?"

　　平安夜那天，在我們分發(fā)餅干時，我一不小心掉了一塊到地上。“沒關(guān)系。”我一邊說，一邊撿起來，并在放回盤子前撣掉了上面的灰。“你不能那么做。”我四歲大的孩子爭論道。“別擔(dān)心，圣誕老人不會知道的。”他朝我瞟了一眼。“這就是說他知道我有沒有做壞事，而他不知道餅干掉在地上過?”

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