爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

時(shí)間：2020-09-03 09:39:10 英語(yǔ)笑話(huà) 我要投稿

爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)集錦

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爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)集錦

　　因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

　　A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

　　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

　　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一個(gè)人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業(yè)好幾個(gè)月了。

　　最后他在一個(gè)瓷器店找到了一個(gè)工作�？墒遣鸥闪藥滋欤痛驙€了一個(gè)很大的花瓶。

　　經(jīng)理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個(gè)星期都要扣他的工錢(qián)，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問(wèn)：“那個(gè)花瓶值多少錢(qián)?”經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“值500美元。”他很高興地說(shuō)：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終于有個(gè)穩(wěn)定的工作啦。”

　　它會(huì)傷害到你 it would hurt you

　　Why is it that three of our four children have black hair but little Jim is a blond? Whose child is Jim?"

　　"I can't tell you the truth," said his wife after a long pause. "it would hurt you too much."

　　"Oh, don't be ridiculous," he insisted. "I don't mind who the father is. I'm just curious."

　　The wife ffinally confessed. "Well, if you really want to know, Jim is your child."

　　"為什么我們四個(gè)孩子中，三個(gè)是黑頭發(fā)，而小吉姆卻是金色頭發(fā)?吉姆是誰(shuí)的孩子?"

　　“我不能告訴你，”他妻子停了許久才說(shuō)，“那會(huì)傷害你太深。”

　　“ 哦，別無(wú)聊了，”他堅(jiān)持著，“我不在乎他的父親是誰(shuí),只是好奇而已。”

　　妻子最后承認(rèn)了。“好吧，如果你真想知道的`話(huà)，吉姆是你的孩子。”

　　老爸求贊美 Dad seeking praise

　　5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.

　　Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."