趣味英語笑話三則

　　半個還是十分之五 Half or Five Tenths

　　Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

　　Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

　　Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

　　Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

　　老師：你愿意要半個柑橘，還是十分之五個柑橘?

　　杰拉得：我寧可要半個。

　　老師：仔細(xì)想想，說出理由來。

　　杰拉得：因為你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就損失太多了。

　　真想做個噩夢 I want a nightmare

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：“媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。”

　　“不要相信夢，親愛的。據(jù)說夢中的經(jīng)歷通常與現(xiàn)實相反。”媽媽答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的'夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。”湯姆說。

　　魔鬼的妹夫 I'm the Devil

　　A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.

　　When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.

　　"Who are you?" he asked.

　　"I'm the Devil!" she responded.

　　"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"

　　一位婦人發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫回家的時候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個毛病。一個萬圣節(jié)夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹后，準(zhǔn)備在丈夫返家時攔截他的去路。

　　當(dāng)丈夫走近時，她從樹后跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身后有長長的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。

　　“你是誰?”丈夫問到。

　　“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。

　　“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”

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