英語幽默故事精選

　　英語笑話

　　(一)

　　Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake.

　　怎樣才能不讓夢游者(sleepwalker)夢游(walk in his sleep)呢?最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢游者醒著呢，他的確就不會去夢游了。

　　(二)

　　He is really somebody

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。 -- 他真是一個大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。

　　(三)

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。 這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

　　(四)

　　my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my preciouslittle dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　　我的狗不識字 布朗夫人：哦， 親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了! 史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊! 布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”

　　(五)

　　Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only oneclaw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.

　　給我那個打贏的吧 -- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有一只爪。 -- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。 -- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。

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