英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯長(zhǎng)的
英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯長(zhǎng)的一：
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“
如果我把房子和車(chē)賣(mài)了，在車(chē)庫(kù)舉行義賣(mài), 并把所有的錢(qián)給窮人，我能進(jìn)天堂嗎?”我問(wèn)主日學(xué)校的`孩子。孩子們齊聲回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打掃教堂，給院子的草坪割草，并且把東西都收拾得干凈整潔，我會(huì)上天堂嗎?”回答還是：“不能!”“好吧， ”我繼續(xù)問(wèn), “那我要怎樣才能升天堂呢?”一個(gè)五歲的男孩兒叫道：“你得死了才行!”
英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯長(zhǎng)的二：
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. My son is a monsignor, said the first proud woman. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor.'The second mother went on, My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency.'
My son is a cardinal, continued the next one. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence.'The fourth mother thought for a moment. My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, she said, When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God.'
四個(gè)神職人員的母親聚在一起談?wù)撟约旱膬鹤�。我兒子是個(gè)牧師，第一個(gè)驕傲的母親說(shuō)，當(dāng)他走進(jìn)一個(gè)房間時(shí)，人們會(huì)說(shuō)，‘您好，牧師。
第二個(gè)母親接著說(shuō)，我兒子是個(gè)主教，當(dāng)他走進(jìn)一個(gè)房間時(shí)，人們會(huì)說(shuō)，‘您好，主教閣下。
我兒子是紅衣主教，第三個(gè)母親繼續(xù)，當(dāng)他走進(jìn)一個(gè)房間時(shí)，人們會(huì)說(shuō)，‘您好，尊敬的紅衣主教。
第四個(gè)母親想了一會(huì)兒，說(shuō)：我兒子身高6尺10?，體重300磅，當(dāng)他走進(jìn)一個(gè)房間時(shí)，人們都說(shuō)，‘哦，我的上帝!
英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯長(zhǎng)的三：
The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會(huì)，圣會(huì)) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋�(gè)人在他說(shuō)教時(shí)打瞌睡。一個(gè)星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個(gè)人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺(jué)。于是他低聲對(duì)信徒們說(shuō)：“想去天堂的人，都請(qǐng)站起來(lái)吧。”所有的人都站了起來(lái)——當(dāng)然，除了那個(gè)打瞌睡的人。在低聲說(shuō)過(guò)請(qǐng)坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請(qǐng)站起來(lái)!”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來(lái)。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個(gè)人說(shuō)道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們?cè)谶x什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
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