英語笑話故事短文（通用21篇）

　　笑話也可以是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑或是產(chǎn)生幽默感另外一個行動動作型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感而感到開心好笑，下面是英語笑話故事短文 ，一起來看看吧。

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇1

　　The Reason For Not Going Fishing

　　Young Johnny turned up late for Sunday school one morning and the teacher wanted to know why. "Well，I was going to fishing，but my dad wouldn’t let me，"said Johnny.

　　“I should think not，”replied the teacher."And did your father explain why you should not go fishing on this day2”

　　“Oh yeah，”said Johnny.“He said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."

　　沒去釣魚的奇論

　　一天早上，小約翰星期天到學(xué)校上學(xué)時遲到了，老師想知道是怎么回事。

　　“是這樣的，我本來要去釣魚的，但爸爸不讓我去�！奔s翰尼說。

　　“我想今天你爸爸也不會讓你釣魚的，”老師答道�！安贿^，他向你解釋原因了嗚?”

　　“解釋了，”約翰尼說，“他說魚餌不夠我們兩個人的�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇2

　　A Unique Examination

　　A professor was known for being a generous marker. The grades he gave for one of his courses were based solely on two exams，and the stuff on the exams was covered entirely in the textbook. As word of the course spread，each term there was a large group of students who turned up infrequently，or not at all，just showing up for the exams. Finally, it got so bad that one term，about half of the students never turned up at all until the exams. On the day of first exam，the students sat down and a graduate assistant handed out the papers， explaining，"The professor is ill，so I’II be taking the exams.”When they opened the booklet，the students discovered just one question. It listed twenty grainy staff photos，and the instructions read，"Circle the picture of the professor who teaches this course.”

　　獨(dú)特的考試形式

　　州立教授給學(xué)生判分是有名的好好先生，他每門課的成績只根據(jù)兩次考試的結(jié)果，而考試內(nèi)容全在課本里。由于這樣的名聲在外，每學(xué)期都有一大批學(xué)生不怎么來上課，或者根本不來上課只有考試的時候才露下面。有一學(xué)期，差不多有一半的學(xué)生直到考試連一堂課都沒來聽過�？嫉谝粓瞿翘欤瑢W(xué)生們坐在那兒，一位助教發(fā)了卷子并解釋說:“教授病了，我來監(jiān)考�！贝蜷_卷子，只有一道題。題目列出了20幅教師的照片，要求是，在教這門課的教授的照片上劃圈。

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇3

　　Midway Tactics

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".

　　中間戰(zhàn)術(shù)

　　三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。

　　右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”

　　左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”

　　中間的商人隨后準(zhǔn)備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。

　　Very Pleased to Meet You

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.

　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.

　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."

　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."

　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"

　　在第二次世界大戰(zhàn)中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當(dāng)然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。

　　一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興�！杯偼�意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。

　　后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊(duì)醫(yī)院里。

　　瓊到了醫(yī)院，她對護(hù)士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�

　　“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o(hù)士長說。

　　“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹�！�

　　“很高興認(rèn)識你，”護(hù)士長說，“我是他的母親。”

　　Two Soldiers

　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"

　　軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”

　　比爾說：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。

　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。

　　這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”

　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。

　　喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。

　　“你還要什么?”比爾問。

　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的`地址是-?”

　　Five Months Older

　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.

　　But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.

　　"How old are you?" he said.

　　"Eighteen, sir," said John.

　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"

　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."

　　大五個月

　　第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開始了，約翰想?yún)④姡�可他只有十六歲，當(dāng)時規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時，他說他已經(jīng)十八歲了。

　　可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆]幾天，而且也是這個軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。

　　“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問。

　　“十八，長官�！奔s翰說。

　　“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”

　　約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”

　　West Point

　　My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."

　　One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."

　　父親、哥哥和我到西點(diǎn)軍校去觀看一場陸軍與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開始之前，我們到處轉(zhuǎn)了轉(zhuǎn)，碰到許多穿著整齊制服的學(xué)員。幾名游客問新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來讓他們攝�！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又�道，如果他到西點(diǎn)軍校來學(xué)習(xí)會得到什么�！�

　　一對中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員，問她是否愿意擺個姿勢照相。他們解釋說：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒來西點(diǎn)軍校錯過了什么�！�

　　Present for Girlfriend

　　At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.

　　The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."

　　送給女友的禮物

　　在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買了一個貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物�！耙�我把她的名字刻在上面嗎?”珠寶商問道。

　　那名顧客想了一會兒，然后說道：“不--在上面刻‘給我唯一的愛’。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇4

　　Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：兩名男童出去爬樹。

　　Bad news: wone of them fell out.壞消息：其中有一人摔下來了。

　　Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一個吊床。

　　Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.壞消息：吊床旁邊有一個耙子。

　　Good news: He missed the rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而過。

　　Bad news: He missed the hammock too !壞消息：他也和吊床擦肩而過！

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇5

　　不必再看眼科醫(yī)生了

　　It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.

　　我己經(jīng)很多年沒做眼睛檢查了。我妻子總是催我去掛個號。她越是督我，我越是耽擱不去。最后，她替我掛了個號。

　　The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,

　　在我去見醫(yī)生的前一天，我的情緒特別好。我對妻于又是親又是抱，還說她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.

　　"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."

　　她說:“這回眼睛沒問題了，那我現(xiàn)在就去把號退了�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇6

　　Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers, when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I pray for a bicycle. I pray for a new toy."

　　兩個小男孩在祖父母家過夜。睡覺的時候，兩個小男孩跪在床邊開始祈禱，這時小一些的孩子扯開嗓子大聲喊道：“我祈求得到一輛自行車。我祈求有一個新玩具�！�

　　His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

　　他的哥哥靠過來，用肘輕碰他說：“你為什么這么大聲喊叫呢？上帝又不是聾子�！�

　　To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

　　弟弟回答說：“是的，但是奶奶聽不到呀！”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇7

　　Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無奈的孩子

　　When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

　　我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時候，總要招來大亂。一個星期六，我開始抗議了�！昂美�，你們兩個，”我嚴(yán)厲地說，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架�！� 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽我兒子說：“來，斯蒂文，我們來把自己弄臟吧。”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇8

　　The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes’ off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.

　　小女孩坐在祖父的膝上讀故事。她時不時的從書上轉(zhuǎn)移視線抬起頭來碰到他褶皺的臉。隨后她摸摸自己的臉頰又回去摸摸祖父的。

　　Finally she spoke, "Granddaddy, did God make you?"

　　最后她問：“爺爺，是上帝創(chuàng)造的你嗎？”

　　"Yes, sweetheart" he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

　　“是啊，甜心�！彼�回答道：“上帝很久前創(chuàng)造出了我。”

　　"Oh" she said, then "Granddaddy, did God make me too?"

　　“喔。”她回答。接著又問道：“爺爺，上帝也創(chuàng)造了我嗎？”

　　"Yes, indeed honey" he assured her. "God made you just a little while ago."

　　“是啊，當(dāng)然了寶貝�！彼�向她保證：“上帝只是不久前創(chuàng)造的你。”

　　"Oh" she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it now isn't he?"

　　“喔�！彼�回答。又分別感受了兩人的臉頰，邊觀察邊說：“上帝的技術(shù)越來越好了，是不？”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇9

　　After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.

　　我和丈夫約翰從內(nèi)布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我們新認(rèn)識的朋友們總為他們美麗的林蔭大過引以為榮.他們嘲諷我們的中西部平原荒涼、貧瘩，連株枯樹都沒有。后來我父母從內(nèi)布拉斯加的老家來看我們，我問他們對旅途的感受。

　　What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."

　　我父親抱怨著:“枯澡，乏味，一進(jìn)入密西根，除了樹什么都沒有�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇10

　　少了一品脫

　　A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward，he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.

　　有個旅行者在穿越南達(dá)科這州時，在一家膚血站獻(xiàn)了血.獻(xiàn)血后他坐在一張小床上休息。這時，他見到另一個人前來獻(xiàn)血.那個人看起來好像是美國的本土人。這個旅行家于是就和他攀談起來�！澳闶遣皇亲≡诼纺沁叺奶K族印地安人保護(hù)區(qū)?”

　　The tourist struck up a conversation and asked,”Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"

　　“沒錯兒�！蹦侨嘶卮�.

　　"Yes，"the man replied.

　　“你是百分之百血統(tǒng)的蘇族印地安人嗎?”

　　"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"

　　“噢，不能完全這么說?. "那人說:“我現(xiàn)在就缺少了一品脫的血.”

　　"Well，actually，no，"said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇11

　　An absent-minded husband

　　心不在焉的丈夫

　　I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.

　　我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的筆記本電腦。到了機(jī)場出口處時， 有位檢查員要他打開包。但是包鎖上了，機(jī)場工作人員耐心地等著我那窘迫的丈夫設(shè)法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最后他終于想起來了。

　　“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.

　　”你為什么那么緊張呢？“我問他。

　　"The numbers are the date of our annivorsary．my husband confessed.

　　“密碼是我們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日�！彼�承認(rèn)道”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇12

　　Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因

　　One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

　　The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

　　The little girl replied, My homework.

　　一天，小女孩從學(xué)�；氐郊依�，對媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患�我沒有做的事情而受到懲罰。

　　媽媽激動地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?

　　小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業(yè)。

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇13

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　它們是從美國直接帶來的一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇14

　　The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oraltest.

　　一位剛剛做完一場有關(guān)心理健康講座的心理學(xué)指導(dǎo)老師，正在進(jìn)行一個口頭測試。

　　Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patientwho walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chairweeping uncontrollably the next?"

　　測試主題定為躁狂抑郁癥，她問道：“你將怎樣診斷這樣的一個病人，他先是來回走著并大聲叫喊了一分鐘，然后坐在一張椅子上失控般地哭泣。”

　　A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

　　一個坐在后面的年輕人舉手答道：“他是一個籃球教練?”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇15

　　Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,

　　小強(qiáng)尼說：“媽媽，今天早上和爸爸在公車上時，

　　he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

　　他叫我讓座給一位女士�！�

　　"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.

　　媽媽說：“你做得很對呀�！�

　　"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

　　“但是，媽媽，我是坐在爸爸膝蓋上的。”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇16

　　One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter,

　　有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,

　　the son took the letter ,

　　兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了

　　the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。

　　After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"

　　兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進(jìn)郵筒了嗎?”

　　"Certainly"“當(dāng)然”

　　"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"

　　“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”

　　"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."

　　“我當(dāng)然看見信封上什么也沒寫”

　　"Then why you didn't take it back?"

　　“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”

　　"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,“

　　我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,

　　is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇17

　　Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut.

　　麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理發(fā)館理發(fā)，

　　But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time.

　　但這是違反辦公室規(guī)定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理發(fā)。

　　While Miles was at the barber's one day,

　　一天，正當(dāng)麥爾斯理發(fā)時，

　　the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

　　經(jīng)理碰巧也進(jìn)來理發(fā)，而且就坐在他旁邊。

　　"Hello, Miles," the manager said.

　　“你好，麥爾斯，”經(jīng)理說。"

　　I see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

　　“我看到你在上班時間理發(fā)了�！�

　　"Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly.

　　“是的，先生。正是這樣�！丙湢査蛊届o地承認(rèn)了。

　　"You see, sir, it grows in office time."

　　可先生，你看，頭發(fā)是在上班時間長的�！�

　　"Not all of it," said the manager at once.

　　“不全都是吧，”經(jīng)理立刻說，"

　　Some of it grows in your own time."

　　“有一些是在你自己的時間里長的�！�

　　"Yes, sir, that's quite true."

　　“對呀，先生，你說得很對�！�

　　Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."

　　麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，“但我并沒有把頭發(fā)全都剪掉啊�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇18

　　又一個引擎出了故障

　　A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo an hour late ."

　　一架波音747飛行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭里傳來機(jī)長的聲音：“旅客們，我們的一個引擎壞了，因此我們將晚到達(dá)東京一個小時�！�

　　After a short while, the trumpet rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our four engines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, the passengers started disturbance.

　　過了一會兒，喇叭再次響起：“諸位，我們四個引擎中又壞了一個引擎，為此我們將晚到三個小時�！边@時，乘客開始騷動。

　　Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, a chap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, let me get off quickly."

　　有人說：“萬一再壞一個，我們得呆在天上一整夜了。”還有已經(jīng)受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你們的破飛機(jī)了，快讓我下去�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇19

　　Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "Ibuilt a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."Thethird smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible?And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entireBible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soonthereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote one son, "the house you built isso huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use theMercedes." "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to knowwhat your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

　　三個兒子商量給年邁的媽媽買什么禮物好。 大兒子說，“我給媽媽建一幢大房子�！倍�兒子說，“我給她買一輛奔馳。”三兒子笑著說，“你們的禮物都不好。還記得媽媽多喜歡讀圣經(jīng)嗎?現(xiàn)在她視力不大好看不了了。我送她一只鸚鵡，會背誦圣經(jīng)的。媽媽只要起個頭，它就可以接著背下去�！� 不久之后，媽媽分別給三人發(fā)了感謝信。她給大兒子寫道，“你建的房子太大了，我只能住一間屋，可是要打掃整幢房子的衛(wèi)生�！彼�給二兒子寫道，“我太老了，沒法出門旅行。大部分時間呆在家里，很少用車�！薄坝H愛的，”她跟小兒子說，“媽媽的心思你最明白，那只小鳥的味道美極了�！�

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇20

　　Once there was a naughty rabbit. He likes to play tricks, and it made other animals angry. But it was very difficult to catch him.

　　以前有一只淘氣的兔子，他喜歡惡作劇，這使得其他動物很生氣。但是想抓住這只兔子可不容易。

　　One day, a wolf said to a fox, “I have an idea to catch the rabbit. You go back home and get into bed. I’ll go to the rabbit and tell him that you are dead. If he comes to see you, you’ll jump up and catch him.”

　　一天，狼對狐貍說：“我想到一個辦法可以抓住這只兔子，你回家睡在床上，我去告訴告訴兔子你死了。如果他來看你，你就跳起來抓住他�！�

　　“Good idea,” said the fox, “I’ll do that.” Then fox ran home and got into bed. The wolf went to the rabbit’s house and said, “Mr. Rabbit, have you heard Mr. Fox is dead?” The wolf stood at the door, and then he went away.

　　“好主意，”狐貍說，“我按你說的辦。”于是狐貍跑回家躺在床上。狼跑到兔子家說：“狐貍先生死了的事你聽說了嗎？”狼站在門口說，然后就走開了。

　　“Really? I haven’t heard anything about it.” The rabbit said to himself, so he decided to go and see if it was true. He went to the fox’s house and looked in through the window. He saw the fox lying in bed. He opened the door and went in. he looked at the fox and said, “Mr. Wolf says Mr.Fox is dead, but he doesn’t look like a dead fox. A dead fox always open his mouth.”

　　“真的嗎？我怎么沒有聽說呢�！蓖米幼匝宰哉Z地說。于是他決定去看看是不是真的。他來到狐貍的房前并從窗口往里看，他看見狐貍躺在床上。于是，他打開門并走了進(jìn)去。他看著狐貍說著，“狼先生說狐貍先生死了，但他看起來不像一只死狐貍，因?yàn)樗篮�貍是張開嘴巴的�！�

　　When the fox heard this, he thought, “I’ll show him that I am dead.” So he opened his mouth.

　　當(dāng)狐貍聽見這話，他想，“我要讓他知道我是死的。”于是他張開了嘴巴。

　　The rabbit saw the fox open his mouth, and he knew the fox was not dead. He ran out of the house as fast as he could.

　　兔子看見狐貍張開了嘴巴，他知道狐貍沒有死，于是他飛快從房子里跑了出來。

　　英語笑話故事短文 篇21

　　perfect match

　　a wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.

　　eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. the woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.

　　years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. "dad," says the son, "there's something i've got to know. how did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"

　　"son," the father replies, "i painted the vase."

　　絕 配

　　一位富婆為擁有一只珍貴的古玩而深感驕傲，以至于她竟要把臥室漆成與花瓶同樣的顏色。幾名油漆匠試圖調(diào)出這個底色，但是誰也沒有能令那位怪癖的婦女滿意。

　　最后來了位油漆匠。他非常自信能調(diào)出那種顏色。那婦女對他的成果非常滿意，油漆匠于是一舉成名。

　　多年以后，他退休了，生意也交給兒子�！鞍郑�”兒子說，“有件事我得弄清楚，您是怎樣使墻的顏色與花瓶配得那么絕的?”

　　“兒子，”父親回答說，“我漆了花瓶。”

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